All Articles

zack gowen
April 28, 2012
Fans were amazed and befuddled at an independent wrestling show Saturday when one-legged wrestler Zach Gowen inexplicably applied a picture-perfect…
Orton cast
April 27, 2012
The cold-blooded backstage attack by Kane on “Cowboy” Bob Orton left the veteran wrestler with a broken arm that will…
TNA ratings
April 26, 2012
In the ongoing and often-bitter war for television ratings on Thursday nights, TNA Wrestling has finally pulled ahead of a…
Unstoppable force
April 26, 2012
WWE wrestlers Yoshi Tatsu and Tyson Kidd squared off against one another last night in a showdown that was described…
Larry Zbyszko
April 25, 2012
Wrestling journalists who have struggled for decades to correctly spell Larry Zbyszko’s surname were relieved to discover recently that even…
Foreign object
April 24, 2012
Although nefarious professional wrestler Damien Blackstone often cheats to win, he patriotically clobbers opponents with only domestic-made illegal objects. “When…
Gorilla
April 23, 2012
Harvard primatologists are trying to figure out what John Cena could possibly have done to anger a hairless albino mountain…
Akeem WWE
April 23, 2012
More than 20 years after his debut in the World Wrestling Federation, Akeem “The African Dream” has come under scrutiny…
Mark Henry
April 22, 2012
WWE superstars who have competed against the mammoth veteran Mark Henry report that the “World’s Strongest Man” also deserves the…
WWE ropes
April 21, 2012
An international team of physicists conceded in a study published yesterday that they’re baffled by the strange elastic behavior of…
HBK
April 20, 2012
Although his boyish good looks once endeared him to wrestling fans worldwide, so-called “babyface” Shawn Michaels is has been steadily…
Flair woo
April 19, 2012
In an unprecedented litigious move, legendary professional wrestler Ric Flair has filed a lawsuit against Zack Ryder for “flagrant and…
deathmatch czw
April 18, 2012
A new study released by the American Journal of Sports Medicine reveals that the mortality rate for professional wrestling deathmatches…
Lesnar cena
April 17, 2012
The much-hyped return of Brock Lesnar to WWE has lent a degree of legitimacy to his former employer, Ultimate Fighting…
five knuckle shuffle
April 16, 2012
Sidelined WWE superstar John Cena was reportedly mortified to discover yesterday that the term “five-knuckle shuffle” is a commonly used…
convention girl
April 16, 2012
Drastically outnumbered by her male counterparts, the sole female attendee at a recent wrestling convention confessed she had a “Smurfette-like…
Harley Davidson
April 15, 2012
Legendary professional wrestler Harley Race failed to see the irony of his situation when he filed a noise complaint against…
Spray tan wrestling
April 13, 2012
Toymaker Mattel has announced a new line of ultra-realistic WWE action figures that come with their own bottles of spray-on…
Wrestling blood
April 13, 2012
A new study shows that wrestling commentators worldwide habitually overstate the severity of bleeding cuts by describing wrestlers as “busted…
Matt Morgan Insurance
April 12, 2012
TNA Wrestling star Matt Morgan confessed on Twitter yesterday that his “lifelong dream” is to pitch auto insurance as expertly…
New Cena shirt
April 12, 2012
Hoping to capitalize on every possible merchandising opportunity, World Wrestling Entertainment will soon release a line of t-shirts aimed at…
Vince McMahon
April 11, 2012
What was once considered the ultimate humiliation in wrestling — being forced to join Vince McMahon’s “Kiss My Ass Club”…
Beth Natalya
April 10, 2012
World Wrestling Entertainment has once again become embroiled in controversy after leaked documents revealed that many WWE Divas are using…
Y2J
April 9, 2012
Paranoid survivalist Jack “Grizzly” Parker remains hunkered down in a well-stocked underground shelter, worried about the mass chaos he believes…