As 2015 draws to a close, we look back at the hard-hitting reportage that made Kayfabe News the world’s most trusted source of pro wrestling insights and analysis.

We’re confident 2016 will be the year Kayfabe News wins the Pulitzer.

10. Make-A-Wish Visit Goes Horribly Awry When Lesnar Eats Child

When it looked as if Lesnar was detaching his own jaw in order to swallow Timmy whole, security guards subdued the beast with a barrage of tranquilizer darts to the posterior. Read more…

 

9. Sting Reportedly “Burned Out” From Hectic WWE Schedule

Sting was last seen with Brock Lesnar as the duo were en route to the bank, laughing. Read more…

 

8. It Comes Crashing Down, Hurts Inside

“And it hurts inside,” Hogan reportedly confided in his barber, who identified himself only as Brutus B. Read more…

 

 

7. Physicists Baffled After Gravity Forgets Man

Physicists from around the world gathered for an emergency meeting at CERN this week after gravity — previously believed to be a universal force of attraction between two masses — reportedly forgot a man. Read more…

 

6. Lesnar Re-Signs to WWE With Three-Year, One-Match Contract

“Me stay WWF,” said Lesnar on ESPN today, mistakenly using the former acronym for the company. “Me like schedule.” Read more…

 

5. WWE to Rectify Declining Ratings by Adding Fourth Hour to Raw

According to a WWE press release, the additional hour of Raw will allow time for “more backstage skits, longer show-opening promos by The Authority, and more mid-match commercial breaks.” Read more…

 

 

 

4. Foley Admits Fall From Cell Was Fake

“We rehearsed the move about a dozen times earlier in the day and it was a breeze — the [Spanish announce] table padded my landing like a big pile of pillows.” Read more… 

 

 

3. Date Confirmed for CM Punk’s First UFC Fight

After months of uncertainty and speculation, a date has been set for the UFC debut of CM Punk, the caustic former pro wrestler who made an acrimonious split with WWE last year.Becky, the cute receptionist at my dentist’s office, has agreed to be my date on the night of the big fight, whenever that is. Read more…

 

2. Finn Balor Makes Jaw-Dropping Entrance at Local Arby’s

Patrons watched with a mixture of rapt terror and awe as Bálor writhed, as if demonically possessed, to the counter and ordered two roast beef sandwiches with no mustard and a side of curly fries. Read more…

 

 

1. NXT Fans Chant “This is Awesome” at Empty Ring

The roof of the NXT arena at Full Sail University was then practically blown off when referee Drake Wuertz entered the ring and checked the positioning of turnbuckle pads.

“You’ve still got it!” the fans chanted at Weurtz, “you’ve still got it!” Read more…

 

 

 

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