Vince McMahon in DDP's kitchen.
Vince McMahon is finally learning to cook his own food, given that he has only ever eaten ICO PRO and other powdered supplements washed down with the tears of his vanquished rivals.

Following in the footsteps of other pro wrestling legends who have fallen upon hard times, beleaguered former WWE mogul Vince McMahon has reportedly moved into the house of wrestler-turned-yogi Diamond Dallas Page for a period of “getting well.” 

Sources say that McMahon is trying to finally kick his decades-long addiction to ICO PRO and Machiavellian scheming with a daily regimen of healthy eating, thrice-daily yoga sessions, and long conversations in which Jake “The Snake” Roberts whisper-rasps cryptic epithets that Vince must decipher. 

McMahon has been keeping a low-profile since his recent retirement from the helm of WWE amid unshocking allegations that “Vince” and “Mr.” seem to be pretty much the same guy

One source close to the McMahon family — who, for the sake of anonymity, we will call Sergeant S. — says Vince plans to live at DDP’s house for “as long as it takes to get healthy again, and to re-learn how to walk without swinging his arms so spastically.”

Added the source: “Vince was quite frank about that.”

 

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