It seems Hunter Hearst Helmsley, the newly anointed heir of the WWE empire, is getting the band back together, so to speak, re-hiring buddies like Shawn Michael’s and “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair, whom Helmsley says could soon be World Heavyweight Champion once again.
“Naitch can still compete with the best,” said Helmsley, “and he’s got his eye on Brock Lesnar.”
The signing of Flair, 84, was viewed with skepticism by some pundits and fans, given that a championship reign by Flair would mean WWE had a champ who was old enough to be president of the United States.
Flair will be expected to keep the same schedule as always — wrestling 300 nights a year, twice on Saturdays, twice on Sundays, with all the limousine riding and Lear jet flying but none of the kiss-stealing because it’s 2022 for chrissakes, you old goon.
Flair, however, insists that he’s in the best shape of his life, although it is difficult to discern what shape, exactly, he is. Amorphous leather sack full of turnips, or some shape thereof. He says he “only passed out twice” during his last match, and that was mostly due to the white russians he had at catering.
Backstage rumours suggest Flair may square off at WrestleMania against longtime rival and serial retirer Terry Funk.
Leave a Comment