lets go cena sucks
Listening to the live audience at WWE events, John Cena finds himself perplexed by mixed messages.

Professional wrestler John Cena lamented during an interview this morning on the Today Show that he is “getting mixed messages” from WWE fans that make him uncertain about whether to go or suck.

Cena said his self-confidence is often bolstered by fans who rhythmically chant “Let’s go Cena,” but his willingness to “go” is quickly dashed when the fans, in practically the next breath, assure him he sucks.

“It’s very confusing,” said Cena, tears welling in his eyes. “What do they want from me? Should I be going or sucking? Should I go suck?”

Cena has noticed that chants of “Let’s go Cena” tend to have a high-pitched, almost-childlike quality, while the other chants have a more gruff baritone.

“It’s almost as if children love me, but grown-up males are against me for some reason,” he mused aloud. “But why wouldn’t anyone like me? I’m a nice guy who does a lot for charity and works hard to give everyone a good show.”

Cena seems not to realize that millions of adult male wrestling fans hate him because they secretly wish they could trade places with him.

This is not the first time Cena has had trouble interpreting chants; in the past, he has mistakenly believed fans were chanting “You can dress well.”