The world of professional wrestling is reeling after it was revealed today that Vince McMahon — long believed to be the mastermind behind World Wrestling Entertainment — is actually the masked alter-ego of his supposed long-time rival Ted Turner.
“It was me!” Turner cackled after tearing off a rubber mask. “It was me all along! And you all bought it — hook, line and sinker!”
For decades, wrestling fans worldwide have mistakenly believed that Turner was the arch-nemesis of McMahon during the so-called Monday Night Wars, when Turner’s World Championship Wrestling (WCW) battled for ratings against McMahon’s WWE.
But the entire “war,” Turner confessed today, was an elaborate subterfuge orchestrated to boost revenues for both companies — since Turner has always been the sole owner of both.
When McMahon appeared to have “bought” the struggling WCW in 2001, it was actually Turner consolidating his brand to build a monopoly over the wrestling business.
Although Turner’s revelation has sent shockwaves through the wrestling world, many fans and pundits admit that, in hindsight, it all makes a perverse kind of sense.
“Come to think of it,” said longtime wrestling journalist Bill Apter, “you never did see McMahon and Turner in the same room together.”