The long-awaited return of sports-entertainer Cecil Malcolm (CM) Punk to World Wrestling Entertainment is “eminent,” according to a prominent wrestling blogger with a fourth-grade literacy level.

“WWE’s creative team is getting there (sic) ducks in a row so Punk’s long-waited (sic) return can illicit (sic) the biggest pop from fans,” reports Brad Shetland, a 22-year-old “senior writer” (and only writer) for the website Smartmarx.com.

“Punk said he would never return to WWE on principal (sic), but its (sic) pretty much garunteed (sic) that he’ll once again walk that isle (sic). He’s going to be more over then (sic) ever.”

Although the article repeatedly (and incorrectly) claims Punk’s return is “eminent,” at one point his return is described as “immanent,” perhaps implying that Punk’s non-corporeal spirit will somehow haunt WWE like a ghost.

“For all intensive purposes,” the article continues, “Punk has already singed on to compete at WWE’s next paper view.”