Survivor series results
CM Punk celebrates at the end of Survivor Series, right on time (photo:

Scientists worldwide are struggling to explain how the Survivor Series pay-per-view, like the hundreds of similar professional wrestling events that preceded it, managed to end exactly on time last night.

“It boggles the mind,” said Prof. Randall Simpson, a Harvard professor in the History of Sports.

“There are so many variables in a wrestling event that should make its length impossible to predict. But somehow, WWE events seem to run like clockwork, almost never ending early or running into overtime.”

Although time limits are imposed on most wrestling matches, the actual length of a match can vary drastically, which should make it impossible to predict the length of overall events. Yet the data says otherwise.

Despite Sheamus’ 18-second victory over Daniel Bryan, for instance, WrestleMania 28 still clocked in at almost exactly the expected four-hour length.

The phenomenon is also seen on a weekly basis during WWE television programming as, with programs such as Raw and Smackdown fitting neatly within their allotted time slots.

Amazingly, wrestlers often seem to tumble out of the ring to the arena floor at precisely the moment before the program is scheduled for a commercial break.

“It’s almost as if the events are somehow rigged,” said Simpson, adding that it’s more likely a case of unbelievable luck.