WWE cancer
WWE Chairman Vince McMahon announced today a controversial pro-cancer campaign.

World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) made a shocking “heel turn” today when the company announced that, contrary to its longstanding charitable work, it is launching a distasteful pro-cancer campaign.

At a press conference this morning, WWE honcho Vince McMahon cackled maniacally when he announced the launch of the company’s “Be A Tumor” campaign, which promotes smoking and other high-risk, cancer-causing activities.

For the entire month of December, WWE rings will have black ropes, and superstars will be encouraged to wear black attire emblazoned with a skull-and-crossbones logo.

The campaign is a drastic departure from WWE’s successful “Rise Above Cancer” initiative in partnership with the Susan G. Komen Foundation — a noble (or “babyface”) effort to raise funds and awareness to eradicate breast cancer.

The public outcry over the new campaign has been predictably swift and intense — many groups have called for a boycott of WWE programming — but the negative press only seemed to encourage the dastardly McMahon, who replied that critics can “suck it.”

It is believed that WWE’s heel turn is the beginning of a long-term storyline that will culminate in a WrestleMania grudge match, during which McMahon will be pummelled and humiliated by Komen Foundation CEO Nancy Brinker.


[Seriously, though, you should donate to the Susan G. Komen Foundation].