steel chair
Randy Orton sits in a steel chair shortly after discovering its purpose.

In stark contrast to tradition, a professional wrestler recently grabbed a steel chair and, instead of clobbering his opponent with it, unfolded it and sat down on it.

The wrestler, Randy Orton, seemed surprised that the chair proved to be such a convenient implement upon which to park his posterior.

“I had no idea you could sit on these things!” said Orton. “I thought they were just for hitting people with.”

News of Orton’s discovery quickly spread throughout the professional wrestling community, and within hours dozens of wrestlers were posting pictures on Twitter depicting themselves sitting on steel chairs.

“Evidently it is an ingenious dual-purpose technology,” said Damien Sandow. “What was once considered to be solely a blunt object with which to bludgeon one’s nemesis is, upon closer inspection, a technology for unburdening one’s legs via a recumbent repose.”