undertaker losing streak
Can the Undertaker maintain an epic losing streak to rival his winning one?

Barely 48 hours after delivering a cryptic monologue that left his intentions unclear, pro wrestler The Undertaker announced his plans to continue competing at WrestleMania until he attains an “even-steven” record of 23-23.

Ever since his legendary “streak” was broken in 2014 by Brock Lesnar, the so-called Phenom has been ruminating on a new milestone to strive toward.

At a press conference outside his Death Valley mortuary, The Undertaker told reporters this morning that he “will not rest in peace” until he achieves total parity in his WrestleMania record.

“I’ve got a lot of losing left in me,” snarled the Deadman.

The Undertaker said he plans to lose to John Cena at WrestleMania this year, and then continue on a losing “streak” toward a 23-23 record, with losses to Braun Strowman, Kevin Owens, Kane (at least thrice), Asuka, Curt Hawkins, and most of the current NXT roster.

Once he achieves the 23-23 milestone in 2039, he will finally retire — until his returns the following year for the tiebreaker (against Kane in a “Once in a Lifetime” showdown).