XFL mcmahon
Media mogul Ted Turner says WCF fans can expect a “hee-haw hoedown footbawlin’ hootenanny.”

Apparently seeking to outdo longtime rival Vince McMahon, media mogul Ted Turner held a press conference today to announce the impending TBS premiere of World Championship Football (WCF).

Billed as “Football where the big boys play,” WCF will go head-to-head on Sunday nights against McMahon’s XFL, which McMahon resurrected yesterday because “quite frankly, I don’t listen to people who tell me to learn from past mistakes, quite frankly.”

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Turner reportedly called McMahon yesterday to deliver the news, saying: “Vince, I’m in the footballin’ business” (to which McMahon reportedly replied: “Well, I’m in the pigskin-entertainment business”).

Turner said WCF will showcase “southern-style football” with longer quarters, more convoluted rules, and a smaller teeth-to-fan ratio than either the NFL or XFL.

The two competing leagues are expected to get into a ratings “war” — similar to the so-called Monday Night Wars between McMahon’s WWE and Turner’s WCW, except both companies will be competing for ratings against late-night reruns of Three’s Company.

Some pundits have questioned whether Turner’s announcement is an elaborate publicity stunt, amid allegations that Turner and McMahon have actually been the same person all along.