Trump WWE
Donald Trump supports Mr. America’s stance on orange skin and wispy blond hair.

Among his many bold promises en route to the Republican nomination, Donald Trump insisted today that he will make former wrestling sensation Mr. America “great again.”

Trump, himself a WWE Hall of Fame inductee for some reason, claims that if elected president, he will ensure the masked patriotic wrestler becomes a “main-event player” in WWE by 2018.

“Mr. America is a symbol of all that is right about this country,” Trump said during a press conference this morning. “He is garish and orange-skinned with wispy blond hair. I like his style.”

The true identity of Mr. America — who hasn’t been seen in World Wrestling Entertainment since 2003 — has always been shrouded in mystery.

Some conspiracy theorists suggest Mr. America was actually Hulk Hogan under a mask, which of course is preposterous given that Hulk Hogan has never performed for WWE, according to the company’s website.

It is now clear that the Mr. America was actually Trump himself wearing a mask and prosthetic muscles.