1-2-3 Kid
The as-yet winless 1-2 Kid aims to score a pinfall "really soon."

Up-and-coming professional wrestler The 1-2 Kid is gaining popularity thanks to his scrappy underdog status, yet has been unable to win a single match by pinfall.

“I always come so close,” said The 1-2 Kid, a pugnacious pipsqueak who has almost — but not quite — scored upset victories over veteran wrestlers twice his size.

“So far, it has been nothing but two-counts, but one of these days…”

The 1-2 Kid recently sought advice from Sean Waltman, who shocked the wrestling world in the 1990s with an upset victory over Razor Ramon, which earned him the nickname the 1-2-3 Kid.

But the 1-2 Kid has been unable to locate Waltman, despite scouring an internet phone directory for the names X-Pac, Syxx, Lightning Kid, Pac, The Lightning Kid, The Cannonball Kid and Waltman’s 67 other aliases.