WWE superstars days off
Due to the Labor Day holiday, Raw will not be seen until next Monday

Monday Night Raw, the flagship program of World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE), will not air this week in order to give WWE superstars the Labor Day holiday.

For the first time in its two-decade history, the sports entertainment show will skip a week — a decision the company says is “in keeping with its strong commitment to work-life balance among its employees.”

Because most WWE performers spend roughly 361 days a year on the road — doomed to be absentee spouses and inattentive parents — the Labor Day holiday will allow them to mitigate some of the personal trauma caused by their vagabond lifestyles.

According to a press release issued this morning from WWE’s Stamford headquarters, “WWE SuperstarsĀ® and DivasĀ® have earned a nice three-day weekend. They’ll be back on Raw next week, refreshed and ready to sports-entertain the WWE Universe for the next 110 consecutive days until Christmas.

According to backstage sources, the much-needed day off comes as a great relief to Brock Lesnar and The Undertaker, who are reportedly burned out from the gruelling schedule of “house shows” on which they perform nightly.

To appease fans who are accustomed to watching wrestling every Monday night, WWE intends to fill the Raw time-slot with an airing of the film Ready To Rumble.

Few fans are expected to notice the difference.