A pair of self-absorbed dimwits who held aloft a pair of giant cardboard head through the entirety of WWE WrestleMania are now suffering from debilitating diarrhea, according to the hopes and dreams of countless wrestling fans.

The selfish twits — let’s call them Mulva Twatterson and Dingus McDump — are, if there is any justice in the world, currently trapped inside a cheap Philadelphia motel room, taking turns heaving and retching and doubled-over on the toilet, wondering what they did to deserve this.

According to our dream scenario, the imbeciles ate some bad tacos after ruining WrestleMania for the fans sitting behind them and millions watching at home, and have been violently, uncontrollably, painfully defecating ever since.

“I was sitting behind those people with the giant cardboard heads,” said one fan. “I hope they get lyme disease.”

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