At a glitzy black-tie gala later this month, friends and colleagues will pay poignant tribute to a man who made the world a better place by shoving his sweaty, cellulite-dimpled buttocks into the horrified faces of other men.
Former professional wrestler Rikishi will be inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame, in acknowledgement of his contributions to sports entertainment, hip hop dancing, and for pioneering the cultural phenomenon known as the Stinkface.
“It’s such an overdue honor,” said Jey Uso, son of Rikishi. “Dad paved the way for future generations by shoving his anus against the noses of his opponents.”
Added Jimmy Uso: “Without him, nobody would be shoving their asses on people’s faces — can you imagine a world like that?”
In what is expected to be an emotional evening, an arena full of formally attired musclemen, midgets and giants will wipe tears from their eyes as Rikishi — clad in a tuxedo that somehow covers his gargantuan gluteous — will graciously accept the distinguished honor.
Also being feted at the WWE Hall of Fame ceremony this year: two New Zealanders who lick strangers on the head.