nxt 3.0
The next evolution of NXT promises to be “the bloodiest garbage wrestling you depraved monsters could ever want.”

Rumors have swirled for weeks that WWE Chairman Vince McMahon is planing to “shake things up again,” and the rumors seems substantiated by leaked corporate documents regarding the creation of the NXT 3.0, rebranded as a violent deathmatch league. 

The documents contain numerous revelations that, if true, point to a drastic new direction in programming, audience demographics, roster, and more. These include: 

  • Japanese deathmatch legend Atsushi Onita has been hired as the General Manager of NXT 2.0
  • Matches will include at least five of the following: barbed wire, glass light tubes, a broom handle with a big empty water jug on the end for some reason, gusset plates, panes of glass, a tank of pirhanas, an electrified cage, exploding ring, electrified pool, tables (flaming, or stacked implausibly, and weapons brought by fans.
  • The NXT 3.0 roster so far seems to be
    • Matt Tremont
    • Nick Gage
    • Rickey Shane Page
    • Mad Man Pondo
    • Warhed
    • Jun Kasai
    • Masada
    • Jon Moxley
    • Dominic Mysterio
    • Jimmy Lloyd
  • Signees will report to to the WWE Performance Center in Florida — to be renamed The Crucible of Violence — and they will begin their training by being thrown off the roof through a flaming stack of tables on the back of John Zandig’s pickup truck. 

The inaugural NXT 3.0 Champion will be crowned at NXT 3.0 Ultra-Hardcore Tournament of Blood on March 28, live from Madison Square Garden. 

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