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Thanks to NXT, handsome young nobodies are getting more screen-time than ever!

Fans of professional sports-entertainment are slightly abuzz tonight after the main event of tonight’s NXT 2.0, which saw four-month veteran Draxx “The Vaxx” Cypher square off against newcomer Blair Breakker, grand-nephew of WWE legend B. Brian Blair. 

Fans attending tonight’s event at the WWE Thunderthing — all 27 of them — were struck agog by the upset victory for the new NXT 2.0 Middleweight Championship, largely because they weren’t sure which wrestler was which, and thus didn’t know for whom to cheer. 

“I like the spray-tanned guy in the silver tights with long hair and the neck tattoo,” said one ringside fan, referring to either Cypher or Breakker, or several other members of the NXT 2.0 roster. 

Added the fan: “That suicide dive was amazing,” though the fan failed to indicate which of the 17 suicide dives in the match he was referring to — the nine delivered by Breakker, or the eight delivered by Cypher. 

Adding insult to injury, Draxx Cypher defeated Blair Breakker with Breakker’s own signature move, the “Straight Shooter,” standing reverse figure-four leglock that was popularized by WWE has-been Burt “The Hurtman” Heart. 

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