Mere hours after making his shocking return to World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE), controversial sports-entertainer CM Punk walked out of the company, vowing never to return.

According to backstage sources at WWE, Punk was elated after hatching from an enormous egg at WWE Survivor Series, then grew increasingly cantankerous as the night wore on, and he stormed out just after midnight.

Punk returned to an enormous ovation, having recently burned his bridges with AEW, having previously burned his bridges with WWE, having previously burned his bridges elsewhere.

Then he re-burned his WWE bridges by calling Triple H an “obsequious turdburgler” and Vince McMahon “worse than Satan.”

“It’ll be a cold day in hell when I go back to WWE again,” said Punk (real name Charles Montgomery Pünke). “Maybe Thursday.”

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