A decade after dramatically quitting his job in an angry huff and badmouthing his former corporate employer at every opportunity, a middle-aged man recently returned to the employer with his tail between his legs and asking for his old job.

Charles Montgomery Pünke, better known by ring name CM Punk, departed WWE full of venom and vitriol, vowing never to return, once insisting “Pigs will fly over a frozen hell and get blood from a stone if I return — not in million bazillion years!”

This past Saturday, he somehow forced a tenuous smile onto his face to disguise the crushing shame he must be feeling and returned to WWE at Survivor Series.

Fans and pundits worldwide were shocked that Punk would ever show his face in WWE again, given how embarrassing it must be to grovel for a job he quit so acrimoniously.

According to one backstage source, who asked to be identified only as Jinder M., Punk is now making substantially less money than he did a decade ago — reportedly just $22/hour, plus tips.


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