Backstage sources within WWE reveal that abrasive professional wrestler CM Punk will return to the company at its annual Survivor Series event tonight by emerging from a strange egg that has mysteriously appeared at ringside.

“CM Punk is going to unveil his new gimmick — a feathery fighter called Second City Seagull,” revealed one source, who asked to be identified only as Dominik M.

Rumors have swirled for weeks regarding a potential WWE return for Punk, who was recently fired from AEW for behaving in exactly the ways everyone has come to expect from him.

Neither Punk nor WWE has officially confirmed the rumors, but Punk did, in typically cryptic fashion, seem to tease the return on X with the simple post reading: “I am yolk.”

A leaked document from WWE indicates that Punk has signed a five-year contract, with an exclusive “walk out clause” that requires him to quit in a self-righteous huff at least thrice annually.

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