A factual error appeared in yesterday’s edition of Kayfabe News, in which it was reported that wrestler-turned-thespian John Cana was ritualistically initiated into a Hollywood’s elite Satanic cabal via his naked appearance onstage at the recent Academy Awards.

Further research has shown this to be misleading.

Cena actually underwent the Satanic humiliation ritual in private earlier that day, and his appearance at the Oscars was actually a completely unrelated ritualistic initiation into the Sacred Knights of the Illuminati, not the Satanic cabal.

Although Cena publicly denounces eating babies to remain forever young in service to Lucifer, leaked airline records show Cena has taken repeated flights to the so-called “Clinton Island,” where Democrats feast on the innocent.

Kayfabe News regrets the error.

If you ever see any other factual errors in Kayfabe News reporting, please let us know.