A woman in Ireland, Sinead Swoggle, has come forth with allegations that her son was fathered by Vince McMahon after the sports-entertainment mogul discovered her pot of gold.

“He was after me lucky charms,” the woman, who claims to be 796 years old and made entirely of magic.

Mrs. Swoggle claims her magical little son was the result of one crazy night in the 1980s on a rail journey from Dublin to Belfast that she now refers to as “the train ride from hell.”

She claims her son was forced to grow up, sort of, without a father figure, only to be rejected again by McMahon during his early adulthood.

Mr. McMahon could not be reached for comment, but we’re sure he’ll call us back any minute now.

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