Kurt Angle corbin
Kurt Angle has demoted Baron Corbin to Cadet, but promoted himself to Captain.

During his annual performance review with the Human Resources department, Baron “Constable” Corbin was reprimanded for “lackluster and uncharismatic behavior” and demoted this week to the position of Cadet.

Despite Corbin’s efforts to elevate himself above the mid-card doldrums of WWE — such as shaving his 17 remaining hairs, and wearing clothes from the fancy rack at Target — his performance over the past six months was deemed “unbefitting of the rank of Constable.”

Whereas other sports-entertainers have earned worked hard to earn their rank — Corporal Kirchner, Captain Lou Albano, Colonel Tom Parker, Supercop Dick Justice — Corbin has led some observers to question whether he has any law-enforcement experience at all.

Some wrestling pundits are predicting that, if Corbin continues to underperform as Stephanie McMahon’s surrogate on Raw, he will be demoted to Civilian, and then eventually to Impact Wrestling World Champion.