CM Punk sighting
CM Punk’s last known whereabouts were a Chicago coffee shop. He has reportedly walked out of Chicago and headed for the Oregon wilderness.

Elusive professional wrestler CM Punk, who vanished from World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) early this year for what has been euphemistically described as a “sabbatical,” reportedly “walked out” of that sabbatical today.

Details are sketchy as to how, exactly, Punk managed to take a leave of absence from his leave of absence, but “reliable sources” on several wrestling websites have reported it, so it must be true.

“If anyone can walk out of a walkout, it’s Punk,” said one person close to the wrestler, speaking on condition of anonymity. “That guy would walk out of a walk-in closet, just to prove a point.”

Now that Punk is neither an active WWE performer nor a mysterious defector from the company, his whereabouts and future plans are doubly mysterious.

According to some reports, he has moved to a small shack in the Oregon wilderness, where he is penning a 7,500-page manifesto called “Why I Am the Best in the World.”

Adding fuel to this rumor is the fact that Punk recently got a new tattoo bearing the word “UnaPipeBomber.”


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