World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) shocked its fans and investors this morning with the sudden announcement that it has been forced to close down after the departure of its marquee star, Kaitlyn.

A sullen-faced company chairman Vince McMahon, whose family has run the popular sports entertainment franchise for generations, announced that “Kaitlyn’s resignation is too severe a blow for the company to withstand.”

Kaitlyn, a former Divas Champion, announced Wednesday that she was leaving WWE to pursue other interests, which left the company with little choice but to liquidate its assets, release all other talent and bring to an end a 50-year tradition of professional wrestling.

“Without Kaitlyn as our main attraction, we simply cannot generate enough revenue to keep going,” said McMahon, wiping a tear from his eye.

“Although WWE has endured the departures of other popular superstars in the past, such as Stone Cold Steve Austin and Hulk Hogan, we have never lost someone like Kaitlyn.”

McMahon, clearly hurt by Kaitlyn’s decision, uncharacteristically wished her “all the worst in her future endeavors.”

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