WWE Bullying
CM Punk is the spokesbully of WWE’s Be A Dick campaign.

World Wrestling Entertainment made an abrupt, 180-degree turn in its public relations strategy today by announcing a campaign in support of bullying.

The so-called “Be a Dick Campaign” will encourage WWE Superstars to visit schools around the world to encourage bullying, intimidation and various forms of verbal and physical harassment.

“Nobody likes a bully — but everyone respects and admires a bully,” said CM Punk during a school visit in Rochester, NY.

“I’ve been a bully my whole life, and look where it got me — I’m rich, famous, and I’m WWE champ!”

In a series of public service announcements slated to run on WWE programming, superstars are depicted in vignettes showcasing successful bullying, ranging from Divas calling one another “piggy” to Steve Austin bullying his way to mega-stardom in the 1990s.

WWE Chairman Vince McMahon, who rose to power in the early 1980s by bullying other wrestling territories out of business, said “the Be A Dick campaign is much more in-line with our company strategies than the ill-fated Be A Star anti-bullying campaign.”

Added McMahon: “If you don’t support our pro-bullying campaign, you’re a pathetic twerp with no friends whose parents are poor.”