Cruiserweight classic
Can slender physiques like this be achieved without organic microgreens?

The WWE Cruiserweight Classic (CWC) has shone a spotlight on top international independent wrestlers, but such attention has also raised a troubling question: are its performers attaining their slender physiques by using performance-enhancing salads?

One need only glance at wiry beanpoles like Zack Sabre Jr. and Jack Gallagher to wonder: how are these guys getting so svelte?

The roster of the CWC has nary an ounce of body fat, including willowy performers whose ultra-lean bodies seem to indicate higher-than-normal levels of baby spinach:

  • Gran Metalik (Mexico): 167 pounds
  • Harv Shira (India): 112 pounds
  • Anthony Bennet (USA): 27 milligrams

“According to one source, kale abuse is rampant backstage,” wrote veteran wrestling journalist Dan Mutzler.

“And the Wellness Policy simply has no way of testing for organic quinoa.”