World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE), which has previously branded itself as a bastion of “Ruthless Aggression,” has updated its image with the dawn of the Passive Aggression era. 

It all began with an anonymous Post-It note affixed to Braun Strowman’s locker, asking him to “please refrain from flipping over vehicles, as it is quite expensive and rude.”

The catering tables backstage at WWE events now feature signs urging superstars to return their plates and cutlery because “your mother isn’t here to clean up after you.”

The Passive Aggression Era will see sports-entertainers being less overtly confrontational, instead grumbling sarcastic comments under their breath, or giving one another the silent treatment for reasons unknown. 

WWE honcho Vince McMahon said in a rare out-of-character statement that physical violence between wrestlers is “passe, quite frankly,” and he promised that WWE will feature more pouting, grumbling, texting, ghosting, and note-passing.