house of horrors
A scene from last night’s groundbreaking House of Horrors match, which wrestling fans universally praised as a new milestone for the sport.

After the unanimous popularity of last night’s House of Horrors showdown between Randy Orton and Bray Wyatt, World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) announced this morning that a new pay-per-view, In Your House of Horrors, has been added to its programming schedule.

“We give the WWE Universe what they want,” said company mogul Vince McMahon, “and clearly they want pre-taped b-grade horror knockoffs.”

The epic showdown between Wyatt and Orton set a new high standard for sports and entertainment, thrilling fans with jump cuts, shirtless limousine rides, and a perfectly executed cross-body splash by a refrigerator.

The inaugural In Your House of Horrors event will fittingly be held in October, with several matches already announced:

  • The ECW Zombie versus Papa Shango in a Voodoo Sacrifice Deathmatch
  • The Undertaker versus Kane in a Flaming Funeral Parlor match
  • Braun Strowman versus Kalisto in a Haunted Dumpster match

The event will be held at a spooky, rundown house in New Jersey, and 15,000 overjoyed fans will watch it on the edge of their seats in a nearby arena.