WWE 2k15 gameplay
WWE 2K15 will be so realistic, everything about it will seem scripted and implausible.

The makers of WWE 2K15, an upcoming videogame featuring the Superstars® and Divas® of World Wrestling Entertainment, insist the game will be so realistic that the in-ring combat will look strangely unrealistic.

“Never before has professional wrestling been re-created so accurately in a videogame, from the pulled punches to the dramatic ‘selling’ of implausible maneuvers,” said Thomas Jensen, spokesman for game developer Yuke’s.

“Players will feel like they’re actually pretending to fight one another.”

Among the other new features in this year’s instalment of the popular game franchise, which will enhance the realistic phoniness:

  • Players will hear the wrestlers “calling spots” in the ring (especially Chris Jericho, who will practically shout his upcoming move set)
  • Wrestlers will tumble to the arena floor with impeccable timing to allow for two-minute commercial breaks
  • The referee will wear an earpiece allowing him to relay messages from backstage to the wrestlers, such as how soon the wrestlers should “go home” (end the match)
  • Wrestlers will be able to kick out of opponents’ finishing maneuvers, but only during pay-per-view events
  • When a wrestler loudly stomps his foot while throwing a punch, it will cause more damage to his opponent
  • Every match is preceded by a cinematic backstage scene during which Pat Patterson decides the “finish”

Game developers are already starting work on next year’s instalment, WWE 2K16, which will so closely resemble an episode of Raw that players will feel compelled to turn it off after two hours.