According to Kyle Lumsden, an overweight 27-year-old wrestling fan with a number of unpleasant skin conditions, recent photos posted on Michelle McCool’s Instagram depict legendary professional wrestler The Undertaker looking “awful.”
“Man, ‘Taker looks old,” commented Lumsden on WrestleForumz.com, blissfully unaware that his own abominable diet has contributed to a yet-undiagnosed case of adult-onset diabetes.
“Yikes,” Lumsden added, smearing fluorescent orange Cheeto dust onto his keyboard in the process.
Lumsden, who typically breaks a sweat while using the restroom, also harshly criticized The Undertaker’s performance at WrestleMania 30, insisting that the wrestler was “not in ring shape” for his infamous match against Brock Lesnar.
“‘Taker used to be awesome, but he really let himself go,” said Lumsden, who once suffered a mild heart attack from over-exertion during a particularly vigorous game of WWE 2K14.
During the past three WrestleMania events, Lumsden has been especially critical of The Undertaker’s “workrate,” despite not having been employed since getting fired from KFC in 2011.