wrestling fan
Terrance Mercer is smart to the wrestling business, but hopeless as a functional human being.

Although professional wrestling enthusiast Terrence Mercer is “smart” to the wrestling business, he is hopelessly dumb when it comes to most other aspects of life.

“Obviously the Fed wants Cena as its top face to sell merch, but dwindling PPV buyrates necessitate an eventual face-turn for Punk,” said Mercer, unaware that his shoes were on the wrong feet.

Mercer is notorious among his fellow Arby’s employees for talking with great authority about the inner workings of professional wrestling, yet being unable to make correct change for customers.

His parents, in whose basement he dwells, are happy their son is so knowledgeable on WWE booking strategies and stock prices, but they wish he would apply such dedication to something more practical.

Mercer typically live-tweets his opinions on wrestling pay-per-views as they unfold, but was unable to do so during WrestleMania because he accidentally locked himself in the bathroom.