undertaker wwe
The Undertaker performs at a non-televised house show in Toronto last night, where he defeated Primo Colon.

Despite being one of the world’s most elusive professional wrestlers in recent years, The Undertaker announced today that he is rejoining the full-time active roster, and has promised to sports-entertain against every WWE superstar except John Cena.

The announcement has caused much excitement among fans but is frustrating to Cena, who spent weeks badgering The Undertaker into a WrestleMania showdown, only to be demolished by the Deadman in a three-minute squash match of Barry-Horowitzian brevity.

Starting tomorrow, The Undertaker will hit the so-called “house show” circuit, performing at non-televised WWE live events in matches including:

  • April 13, Albany, NY: Undertaker vs. Kalisto
  • April 14, Erie, PA: Triple Threat Match — Undertaker vs. Rhyno vs. Curt Hawkins
  • April 15, Omaha, NB: Mixed Tag Match — Undertaker and Alexa Bliss vs. Sasha Banks and Finn Balor
  • April 16: Tallahassee, FL: Cruiserweight Championship Match: Undertaker vs. Cedric Alexander
  • April 17: Tulsa, OK: Hair vs. Hair Match: Undertaker vs. Baron Corbin

The Undertaker is expected to wrestle more than 300 matches over the next year and, despite constant requests from Cena for a rematch, he will instead square off at WrestleMania 35 against Nicholas.