The Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) announced today that chairshots — a crowd-pleasing offensive maneuver in professional wrestling — will soon be permitted to spruce up dull, mat-based grappling bouts.
“Starting this weekend at UFC 156, a steel folding chair will be propped inside the Octagon during main event fights,” UFC President Dana White told reporters at a press conference in Las Vegas.
“This way, if the fight between Frankie Edgar and Jose Aldo becomes a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu snorefest, they can spice things up by clobbering each other with the chair.”
Although chairshots won’t actually be completely legal per se, UFC referees have agreed to look the other way at just the right moment in order to not see the maneuver.
To assist in this regard, the buxom, scantily clad Octagon Girls have been told to distract the referees by making kissy faces at cageside when a fight becomes boring.
According to leaked UFC corporate documents, the organization is also planning to sanction fights in which the championship belt is dangled from the rafters and can only be attained by climbing a ladder.