What began as a ring-a-ding-dong-dandy escalated into a real slobberknocker.

A recent professional wrestling match that one commentator described as “one heck of a ring-a-ding-dong-dandy” reportedly escalated into a real slobberknocker.

The match — a long-awaited grudge match between an unstoppable force and an immovable object — started as a standard catch-as-catch-can technical wrestling clinic. But when tempers flared, it was clear that business was about to pick up.

The good-looking hometown hero suffered a terrible beating at the hands of the nefarious ethnic stereotype, whose dastardly cheating went unnoticed by the referee, who was distracted by the shrill vixen at ringside.

“I can’t believe what I’m seeing!” remarked one commentator, despite having seen exactly this kind of thing unfold thousands of times before. “History is being made here tonight!”

Encouraged by the clapping and cheering of the audience, the hometown hero somehow summoned the intestinal fortitude to rally back and claim a hard-fought victory.

“We’ll never see a match like that again!” gasped the commentator.

A match exactly like it happened the next night in a town 110 miles away.