Pro wrestlers will suffer if these pre-existing conditions lose coverage under Trumpcare
US President Donald Trump’s controversial bill to repeal and replace Obamacare could put millions of Americans at risk — including countless professional wrestlers with pre-existing conditions.
Among the conditions not covered under Trumpcare:
- Torn quads (or Nash Syndrome)
- Jerichoholism
- Muscle bust
- Latino heatstroke
- Harlem heatstroke
- X-Pac heatstroke
- Bionic elbow
- Busted bronco
- Forgotten gravity
- Certified G (gonorrhea)
- Epico colon
- Cameltoe clutch
- Locked ankle
- Invisibility (Cena Syndrome)
- Saskatchewan spinning nerve disorder
- Missing ear
- People’s tennis elbow
- Yes lockjaw
- Mandible claw
- Reeking of awesomeness
- The Gorilla Monsoon Suite of Maladies:
- Torn lateral collateral ligaments
- Dislocated patella and/or marella
- Bruised external occipital protuberance
- Blows to the solar plexus, kidney area, breadbasket, and/or kisser
- Excedrin headache no. 9
- Genetic freakishness
- Objects turned sideways inside candy ass
- Wrenched gut
- Dragged arm
- Botchulism
- Crimson mask
- Turned heel
- #Brokenness
- Vanilla midget syndrome
- Togo dick
- Embarrassingly small package
- Wide-open bustedness
- Bumped ref
- TNAIDS
- Bastion boogers
- Stomped mudhole
- DDPee
- Shuffled five knuckles
- Belly-to-bellyache
The so-called Trumpcare plan already passed in the House of Representatives (America’s “creative team”), but it remains to be seen whether it will be approved by Senate (America’s “bookers”).