wwe commentary
“He got him — no, he didn’t!” hollers Michael Cole.

Despite nearly two decades as an announcer for World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE), play-by-play man Michael Cole continues to prematurely declare pinfalls after a mere two-count.

During a typical three-hour episode of Raw, Cole erroneously hollers “it’s over” or “he got him” at least 11 times — and occasionally¬†“There’s no way he’s getting up from that — my god, he kicked out!”

According to medical experts, Cole suffers from a rare neurological disorder that makes him incapable of forming long term memories, which explains his frequent and incorrect exclamations of “I’ve never seen anything like this before in my life!”

Intriguingly, Cole also has a habit of proclaiming that “history is being made tonight” with such regularity that the phrase has lost any semblance¬†of meaning.

Stranger still, he has a habit of declaring that RKOs come “outta nowhere,” when they practically always come from outta the area just behind Randy Orton’s hapless victim.