trump masks
Two terrifying masks, side by side.

In a goodwill gesture to its beleaguered neighbours to the north, the President of Mexico announced this morning that his country will donate 2 million lucha libre masks — the full face kind, of course — to the United States, and that “America will pay for it.”

The first shipment of lucha masks was stalled at the Texas border for several weeks as WWE Hall of Famer and US “President” Donald Trump insisted that lucha libre masks are a “trojan horse” for the unproven “Elhijo Virus.”

Mexican Foreign Minister Chico Santana said the masks are “100 percent effective against viruses and 50 percent effective against rudos, on average.”

Delivery of the masks was delayed again when an alleged “caravan” of crazed Americans desperately seeking lucha masks was marauding southward from the old Funk territory. 

Foreign Minister said Mexico is just “being cautious” because “America isn’t sending its best people” to get masks. “There are even some bad hombres,” he warned, and then he winked into the camera, thrust his fist upward, and hollered “Arrrrrriba!”

Fox News overdubbed “Arrrrrrriba” as “Amerrrrrrica.”

 

 

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