Vince McMahon MMA
Vince McMahon insists the new XFC will become the world’s dominant MMA league within six months.

Sports-entertainment impresario Vince McMahon announced today the launch of XFC, a mixed martial arts league he insists will “bigger, badder, and fightier” than the reigning MMA¬†organization, UFC.

At a press conference this morning, McMahon fired verbal volleys at UFC honcho Dana White, goading him into a “Saturday Night War,” during which XFC events will be broadcast at the same time as UFC pay-per-views.

“This ain’t your granddaddy’s MMA,” boasted McMahon. “There’s a new game in town.”

The promotion, which will launch in February with an event called XFC: Human Cockfighting, will differ from UFC in a number of ways:

  • Instead of in an Octagon, fights will be held in a 10-sided Decagon
  • Leaping onto an opponent from atop the Decagon is legal and, in fact, mandatory
  • Kendo sticks, chairs and other weaponry will be easily accessible under the Decagon
  • Referees will only step in to break up a fight once one fighter has gone completely limp
  • The Spanish-language commentators will be situated inside the Decagon
  • Brock Lesnar will compete in a cross-promotional grudge match against himself

A number of McMahon’s closest advisors warned him to stay out of the MMA world, given the abysmal fate of his short-lived football league, the XFL.

But McMahon was reportedly determined to make a bold, game-changing venture before he begins his three-year prison sentence for assaulting a police officer.