Total divas marathon
Since enduring the Total Divas marathon, Tyler Quinn has vowed to wear a holster for his remote control.

A local man feels lucky to be alive today after spending nearly six gruelling hours watching a marathon of “reality” TV show Total Divas, due to a missing remote control.

“I didn’t know how much more I could take,” recalled a visibly shaken Tyler Quinn, who finally found the remote control under a pizza box on his bedroom floor. “It was any wrestling fan’s worst nightmare.”

Unable to change the channel and too lazy to get off the sofa, 29-year-old Quinn clung tenuously to sanity as he watched Natalia squabble with Tyson, Eva Marie preen in the mirror, and several others whose names he can’t remember cry incessantly.

“That episode where John and Nikki go shoe shopping — I saw it four times,” said Quinn. “Four times! I prayed for death.”

Quinn admits that, while the ordeal was terrible, it could have been even worse: “At least it wasn’t Legends House.”


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