bret hart attacked
Vince McMahon, wearing a hat he bought at a shop for marijuana enthusiasts, tackles Bret Hart.

Fans of professional sports-entertaining were shocked when the legendary Bret “Hitman” Hart was attacked by a mystery man during his induction speech for the Hart Foundation during the tonight’s WWE Hall of Fame — and Kayfabe News has confirmed the attacker’s identity.

In a shocking backstage revelation, the attacker removed his rastafarian hat and peeled off a life-like mask to reveal he was none other than WWE mogul Vince McMahon.

“It was me, Hitman!” exclaimed crazed McMahon. “It was me all along! [MANIACAL LAUGHTER]”

According to sources close to McMahon, the attack was long-overdue revenge for the knockout punch Hart delivered to the billionaire immediately following the so-called Montreal Screwjob.

McMahon was beaten mercilessly by a cadre of angry WWE Superstars following the Hall of Fame attack, and will spend the night in a New Jersey medical facility.

BREAKING: we have just received confirmation that McMahon was attacked moments ago by a bald hospital orderly with a bedpan.

We will continue to report on this story as it develops.


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