CM Punk phil
Jayden Minkowski (right) poses with CM Punk, whom he calls Phil.

Wrestling fan Jayden Minkowski, who briefly met elusive pro wrestler CM Punk during an autograph signing at a comic book convention in Buffalo, insists he has special insight into “what Phil is feeling these days.”

Minkowski, a 24-year-old junior manager at a Buffalo-area Arby’s, says he can “totally relate to Phil,” despite having spent a mere seven seconds in the wrestler’s presence last year.

Phil Brooks is the birth name of CM Punk, although practically nobody except pretentious know-it-all wrestling fans like Minkowski refer to him as such.

“Me and Phil talked quite a lot that day,” he recalls of meeting Punk, who has been on a so-called “sabbatical” from World Wrestling Entertainment for months. “I said ‘Hey Phil,’ and he shot me his trademark sarcastic glare, so I knew we had a connection.”

Minkowski recalls that during the rest of his conversation with CM Punk, the wrestler was curious to learn his name, and asked where to sign a plastic replica WWE Championship belt.

“I said ‘Thanks brother,’ and Phil gave me a nod that implied, like, ‘Yeah, we truly are brothers now.'”

Minkowski insists he “totally understands why Phil walked out of WWE,” and sympathizes with the wrestler: “Sometimes I think about dropping a pipe bomb on (Arby’s Manager) Steve (Lang) and just walking out of Arby’s for good.”

According to Minkowski, CM Punk’s much-speculated return to WWE is a “100 percent sure thing, because wrestling is in Phil’s soul,” but the timing of the return is difficult to predict.

“Phil will come back when he’s ready,” said Minkowski. “Until then, if Phil needs to talk, I’m here.”