florida covid
Despite all this essential work, infections continue to climb in Florida.

A medical mystery is afoot in Florida, as healthcare experts struggle to determine why — despite the “essential service” provided by World Wrestling Entertainment programming — Coronavirus infections in the state continued to rise.

Florida just posted its highest single-day infection number in a startling resurgence of transmission, seemingly unaffected by the brave weekly essential services performed in Orlando by oiled-up play-fighters. Even WrestleMania, the company’s flagship event, failed to even treat symptoms of COVID-19, let alone cure it, leaving medical experts befuddled.

“Despite WWE’s best efforts as an absolutely essential service during these difficult times, we inexplicably are seeing more cases,” said Tallahassee epidemiologist Dr. Bob Ponovich.

“We assumed that excitement about the upcoming Extreme Rules pay-per-view would have cured the virus, but somehow that theory has failed to bear fruit.”

According to one recent scientific study, although WWE has failed to significantly diminish the rate of coronavirus infection, the absence of cross-country tourism has led to a decline in the infection rate of syphilis.


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