Just when you thought the Divas division of World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) couldn’t get any hotter, the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling (GLOW) have launched an “invasion” that promises to re-revolutionize ladies’ wrestling.
The fluorescent-leotard-clad women of GLOW, with pouffy bangs and motherly hips, burst onto the scene this week during WWE Monday Night Raw, attacking Nikki Bella and eating her sister Brie.
Though dormant for most of the past three decades, the women of GLOW vowed to reclaim their place atop the world of ladies’ wrestling by “conquering the likes of Paige, Charlotte, and, uh, that redhead with the goggles… um, you know, Goggly LaRue.”
The de facto leader of the GLOW invasion, Mt. Fiji, insists she and her colleagues — Amy The Farmer’s Daughter, Corporal Kelly, and Stinky — will “bring a touch of class back to the fine art of broads wailing on each other.”
According to one backstage source, WWE Chairman Vince McMahon wants to revive the GLOW brand, as well as the ECW and XFL brands, to create a GLOXEFLOW, because he has completely lost his mind.