Popular professional wrestler Dean Ambrose averted catastrophe today when, on the verge of tumbling out of the ring, he brilliantly used the ropes to rebound back into the ring for the billionth goddamn time.
Ambrose, who performs this miraculous feat on a nightly basis, then used his newfound momentum to perform a “lariat” clothesline against opponent Bray Wyatt, who probably should have seen it coming.
Fans of World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) delighted at the maneuver, despite having seen it on every episode of Monday Night Raw in recent memory, regardless of whether it makes sense.
Although the rebound lariat adheres neither to the rules of physics nor logic, fans seem happy to suspend disbelief and accept that the silly teeter-totter pantomime somehow enhances Ambrose’s momentum and power.
Most fans reportedly enjoy the move because “it looks cool,” which of course is incorrect.