WWE’s second-most-popular cage-related event, Elimination Chamber, is just around the corner, and the investigative journalists at Kayfabe News are going out on a limb by predicting all seven men to compete in the event’s eponymous main event this Sunday.

If you don’t want any spoilers, STOP READING NOW,  because our predictions nearly always come true.

Based on backstage rumors, leaked documents, and information published by the always-reliable Dan Mutzler, we have compiled this list of the seven men most likely to do battle in the so-called “Devil’s Playground.”

  1. Brock Lesnar. This one’s pretty obvious. He’s the Universal Champion, so he has to appear at every pay-per-view, right?
  2. Cesaro. Don’t count the Swiss Superman out — he’s got the power to eliminate anyone. Plus, he already smashed in his two front teeth, so the demonic steel enclosure doesn’t scare him.
  3. Kane. Would it be a WWE pay-per-view without Kane?
  4. Samoa Joe. Officially, he’s still out of commission with a “foot injury.” But John Cena once returned way ahead of schedule with a neck injury. Surely Samoa Joe (real name Rocky Anoa’i) is biding his time for a surprise return in the chamber.
  5. Kurt Angle. Duh.
  6. Dean Ambrose. Expect him to replicate his infamous power-tool bloodbaths from CZW. WWE is past the whole PG thing by now, right?
  7. The Undertaker. Some people complained that his promo at Raw 25 was too cryptic. But anyone with half a brain knows that he was entering himself in the Elimination Chamber match. It couldn’t have been more obvious.

And can take those predictions to the bank!

A WWE spokesperson tried to convince us today that the main event competitors have already been announced — he said they were Braun Strowman, Elias, John Cena, The Miz, Roman Reigns, Seth Rollins and Finn Balor — but that all just seems pretty silly and unlikely.

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