Continuing the xenophobic rhetoric that has defined his campaign, Republican frontrunner Donald Trump has demanded that all mysterious wrestlers from Parts Unknown should be “sent back to wherever that is.”
During a campaign rally in Ohio, Trump insisted wrestlers such as The Ultimate Warrior and Papa Shango have “taken jobs away from hard-working American wrestlers like Bret Hart and Kevin Owens.”
Trump then read aloud a list of wrestlers that he, if elected President of the United States, will “personally send packing” for Parts Unknown.
The list includes The Berzerker, Demolition Ax, Demolition Smash, Giant Gonzalez, Battle Cat, Doink, and The Missing Link (note: Trump, despite being a WWE Hall of Famer for some reason, seems unaware that a number of these mysterious wrestlers have died).
Trump also insisted that “an enormous wall” be constructed along the border between the United States and Parts Unknown, though he became evasive when asked by reporters to identify where that border lies on a map.
It is unknown whether Trump is also against immigration from The 5th Dimension (home of Stardust), The Bottomless Pit (home of The Boogeyman), or the Outer Reaches of Your Mind (home of Damien Demento).