Undisputed WWE World Champion Randy Orton got a taste of his own medicine this week when, in the midst of a plodding eight-minute diatribe, he briefly nodded off to sleep.
“There is a reason I am the champion, and you are not,” Orton droned to longtime nemesis John Cena, even more slowly than usual.
“I am the viper. [Long pause] I am ruthless. [Long pause]. I am cold and calculating. [Longer pause with icy stare and jaw-clenching]. I am, quite simply, the… single… greatest… performer… in… sports… entertai…. mmmph….[snores].”
For years, fans of professional wrestling have noted a sedative effect to Orton’s in-ring and backstage interviews, with many viewers reporting that they require coffee in order to maintain consciousness.
But this week marks the first time that Orton himself has succumbed to the anaesthetic effects of his speech — perhaps the culmination of a lifetime of exposure.
Orton could only be roused from his slumber when poked on the shoulder by a referee. To his credit, Orton quickly nailed the unsuspecting referee with a devastating RKO out of nowhere.